Introduction:
Hey there, welcome to the Great and Spacious Podcast – where we indulge in playful banter and introduce ourselves because, why not? Brace yourself for the topic of the century – soaking! Yes, we are totally excited about discussing Mormon sex habits today, because who doesn’t love a good laugh at absurdity? Oh, did we mention our signature cocktail of the week “Provo Soak on the Beach”? Yeah, we’ve been sharing brains, sending videos, and juggling multiple group chats. #BrainSquad

Mormon Sex Habits:
Buckle up for a riveting discussion on Mormon sex habits, where chastity is taken more seriously than, well, pretty much anything else. We’ll unveil the thrilling secrets of soaking, jump pumping, and the provost push, because why not complicate things even more? BYU, the holy grail of strictness, dishes out consequences like there’s no tomorrow if you dare break their honor code. Rumors? Oh, we’ve got plenty! From the infamous BYU Super Date to tennis racket-wielding procurers, our imaginations run wild! And did you hear about the latest trend in chlamydia? Armpits, people! Insert eye roll Let’s not forget the personal experiences and opinions that add the cherry on top of this bizarre cake.

Scriptures:
Now, who’s up for an exciting scripture lesson? Cue the sarcasm as we explore 2 Nephi and Jacob, where Lehi magically imparts Isaiah’s teachings despite being six feet under. Talk about book club vibes! The FLDS and their polygamy practices get a shout-out too – apparently, it’s not cool unless it’s mainstream. The church’s obsession with chastity is so endearing, especially when they overlook everything else. And let’s not forget the women’s purity pledge – because apparently, that’s all that matters. #Not.

Church Teachings:
Oh, the joy of church lessons – it’s like Christmas every Sunday! Today, we’re tackling pride and chastity, where we try to figure out how wealth and acting better than others correlate. Who knew the church had so much to say about grocery crimes and unauthorized polygamous marriages? Clearly, they’re taking a break from, you know, real issues. Rolls eyes And the cherry on top – concubines! Because what’s a good story without some yawn Old Testament flair?

History:
It’s story time! Let’s delve into the captivating tale of Zelph, brought to you by the one and only Joseph Smith. Spoiler alert: there’s a lot of cough credibility issues. But wait, it gets better! White settlers disturbing Native American burial mounds, archaeologists unearthing artifacts, and us trying to pretend we care. Yawn The Hopewell culture is fascinating, but hey, let’s focus on some guy named Zelph instead. Facepalm

Conclusion:
So, there you have it – a whirlwind journey through the oh-so-intriguing world of Mormon sex habits, church teachings, and Native American history. We hope you enjoyed it. Remember, sarcasm aside, it’s essential to appreciate diverse histories, even if we occasionally roll our eyes along the way.

Tune in next time for another riveting episode of the Great and Spacious Podcast! Don’t forget to visit our website and follow us on Instagram – because, you know, we need all the attention we can get. Until then, folks, keep on soaking, wink!